Su Pollard was born in 1949 in Nottingham. Her interest in acting began at the age of six when she played an angel in the school nativity play. At 16, she began singing in charity shows and at working men’s clubs while working as a secretary.

After an apprenticeship at the arts theatre in Nottingham, she made her TV debut on Opportunity Knocks. Theatre work including Godspell and Grease paved the way for Hi-de-hi! which became a TV hit in 1980. She has also appeared in the sitcoms You Rang M’Lord? and Oh, Dr Beeching! Pollard is single and lives in Islington. She can be seen in Annie: The Musical which opens at the Theatre Royal, Lincoln on September 8 and tours the country until the end of November.

YOU’RE HOSTING AN IMAGINARY DINNER PARTY AND CAN INVITE ANYONE IN THE WORLD, LIVING OR DEAD, TO YOUR HOUSE FOR ONE NIGHT ONLY...

Q. WHO WOULD BE ON YOUR INVITATION LIST – AND WHY?

“I’d certainly have JFK because to me he was the epitome of a really attractive bloke. He’d have to sit opposite me because I couldn’t have anyone ugly in my eyeline. I could ask him all sorts of questions, such as what happened to Marilyn Monroe.

“I’d have Barbra Streisand because she epitomises everything that a good showbiz professional should be. She’s got the talent and dedication. I know she’s semi-retired but she gives value for money. I’d also have the group Mud on the table doing Tiger Feet and I’d be dancing with JFK.

“I’d invite Prince Charles because I really like him. I think people have got to realise that before Di came along he was always the clown prince anyway. He always used to interweave with the masses and I think people forget his contribution really. I’d also like Joan Rivers and Robbie Williams. A nice eclectic mix.

“I quite like Victor Lewis Smith. A lot of people think he’s very caustic and acerbic but that’s why I like him. Michael Winner – I love him and read his column every week. I’d also invite my dad, Donald. He knows so much about everything because he’s had such an experienced life.”

Q. WHAT FOOD WOULD YOU SERVE?

“It would be very simple. To start with I would have asparagus without the hollandaise, a few broad beans and a bit of lemon juice. Then I would have salmon fish cakes with a touch of chilli sauce and to go with that a salad of pine nuts and tomatoes.

“If they did want to have a pudding, I would offer them banoffee pie or death by chocolate or fresh fruit salad. Obviously a cheeseboard if required and copious amounts of really good wine. We’d have the best stuff, not because of the guests. It’s just courtesy to offer nice food and drink. Then I’d send them on their way with a party popper and a little gift. Maybe a tube of Smarties.”

Q. WHICH MUSIC WOULD YOU PLAY?

“I’d have to have some Streisand, Reload by Tom Jones and a bit of classical. Probably Bolero. I love all sorts of music. Apart from the finger in the ear folk stuff. For my dad I would have some New Orleans jazz.”

Q. WHO WOULD YOU HAVE AS THE LACKEY IN THE KITCHEN?

“Well I haven’t got a dishwasher because there’s only me and I can’t be bothered with loading it up. I would have one washer upper to one guest. So if there were eight guests I would have eight people washing up. People would say that’s ridiculous but one could wash, one could put away and so on but the whole process would only take an hour and you could finish off with a cup of tea if you fancied. Failing that, if I could get hold of bin Laden, I’d get him doing it. Or some really bossy city woman who is a high achiever – which is great, but at the same time it would bring them back down to Earth.”

Q. WHICH AFTER-DINNER JOKE WOULD YOU TELL?

“All mine are quite earthy. I quite like Bernard Manning so I’d ask him to tell one. I don’t care if he’s not PC. When you’ve grown up with certain kinds of humour you get an affection for it. People are rather too sensitive and I think we’ve been steered along that path by the do-gooders.”

Q. HOW WOULD THIS UNLIKELY EVENT COMPARE TO THE WAY YOU NORMALLY ENTERTAIN FRIENDS? 

“I think it would compare much more favourably. When I usually entertain, it’s outside at a restaurant because I’m not a very good cook. I can make salads but the main dish would have to be bought from Marks or something. I am very good at giving little outside things like picnics. I make very good dressings and what I call posh sandwiches with nice fillings inside. Most of my friends are happy to just bring a bottle over and have a chat.”

The Scotsman
September 2003